But some weeks... well, sometimes it's hard to do. Weeks, like this one, when our financial outlook seems bleak, the ongoing job hunt seems everlastingly unproductive, and the to-do list seems longer than my actual lifespan. On top of it all, this week my Small One is not feeling well. I won't burden you with the gory details, but it hasn't been fun for either of us.
On reflection, though, there's a lot of good here. We have very kind and understanding landlords. We are blessed with health and love and caring friends and family. The most surprising thing I've noticed today, though, is that sometimes even the bad stuff has something good to offer.
Small One is not so small as she was. I delight in her accomplishments, but I also think wistfully of her babyhood, especially when I have the opportunity, as I did last night, to hold a very new baby. In this case, he was 12 hours old:
My little tornado is not so quiet. She is, in fact, sometimes utterly ear-piercing. And independent! Wow, is she independent! She is what one might refer to as a "pistol", if one were being kind. She is constantly telling me what she needs to do next or, more to the point, what I "NOT needa" do... ie, put her in time out, get her to pick up her toys, put her in bed, etc. She's always been an intense little creature, always with a plan, a study in motion.But not today. Today, she's a baby again, a snuggly lap girl, a "you needa hold me" girl, someone who wants nothing more than to put her head on my chest and let me pet her. I hate that she feels ill (though today I think she's just worn out from yesterday), but the hidden blessing is that I get to love up on her, and she gets to remember that Mommy is a safe and warm place. And I get to notice that as big as she seems sometimes, she's still very small and soft and snuggly.
Life, even with the bad, is good.