Sunday, July 19, 2009

I had a Dream

This weekend, I'm sick. Horrible cold/flu thing, and last night I decided it was Nyquil worthy. Consequently, I have a major Nyquil hangover, and also I woke up just before noon, and ALSO, I had the strangest dream.

I dreamed I had another child, a little girl, two years younger than Small One. And in my dream, I realized I'd been completely ignoring this child, to the extent that I'd pretty much forgotten she existed. In fact, I'd forgotten her name. I kept looking at her, and she was very cute, and I kept calling her Amelie, but I knew in the back of my head that wasn't it. I was talking to people about how bad I felt for neglecting this child, and meanwhile I was frantically digging around trying to find some place that I'd written down her name, looking through our safe, my files, even looking through old emails and message board posts. I finally found an application for a birth certificate, and it hadn't been filled out, except that, apparently, someone at the hospital had written down her birthday and a name- Venassa.

Now, two things upset me about this. First of all, that's not something I'd name a child-I might name her Vanessa, but probably not. Second, in reading the document, I realized her first birthday had been the day before- May 11th. This was horrifying, because Small One had a first birthday extravaganza, with probably thirty people and a special dress and her christening the same day, etc, etc, etc... I called my sister in law to see if she could bring her kids over for a party on the weekend, and she told me she'd be out of town. I was frantically scrambling around trying to throw together some semblance of a celebration, when I came across a box with a party dress in it. I thought it was the dress Small One has worn for birthday photos two years in a row, and I was talking to someone, asking if it would be terrible to put this other child in the same dress for her birthday, when I realized it was NOT the same dress, but a new one, similar, but in a different color. I was relieved because I thought I'd actually had the presence of mind to buy the child a party dress, but then I realized it was Small One's size.

The whole dream was panicky, and I was wondering if I'd nursed the child, when Small One came up and asked if she could nurse, and I realized I'd neglected the little one in favor of her. Then I realized that little one's birthday was either on or near my grandmother's birthday, and I was trying to figure out whether it was actually the same day. I was frantic the whole time, and woke up still feeling that freaked out panic.

What does it mean? I don't just need comments on this one, I need analysis!


Stephanie said...

I think it's in the same vein of those "I've got a test and I haven't studied"..."I've got this new baby and I forgot all about her!!!"

I get those sorts of dreams alll the time! Along with the "I need to go to the bathroom but can't find an appropriate place"

KellyLovesAlexALOT! said...

You are pregnant!!!!!! That's all it could mean.. or tonight you will be! Me and Joseph have equal dream interpretation skills!